Do you believe in signs?

I have always believed that everything happens for a reason. Not sure if it is fate or whatever but for every action there is a reaction, and I believe the majority of the time, the reaction was probably already meant to be, understand what I'm trying to say here, LOL?

Anyway, the reason for all that mess, Kid told me the other night to just take the kids camping next weekend. I said no, we don't have the money, the van needs a water pump, camping is a lot of work, I'd have so much to do before we go, blah, blah, blah, every excuse you can think of, I had it. But they are very legitimate excuses.

As I was pressing yesterday morning & thinking about how much life sucks, LOL, I told myself that I was going to stop at Publix & if they had firewood, it was a sign, a sign that we are meant to go camping. And they had firewood, a shit ton of it, LOL. (We had a cold front this week, the lows were in the 50's all week, which is why they had firewood, they do every year but not usually until after Thanksgiving.)

The thing is, I have next Saturday & Sunday off. On Thanksgiving, I work 8:15 to 12:15, I am scheduled to work on Friday, 9:45 to 6:45. I was going to check the schedule to see who is off on Friday & see if I can switch with them, like for Monday, because I am off, but then said fuck it. I was concerned about missing the hours, that would make for a very small paycheck, but actually, I was scheduled to be off on Tues & Pat asked me if I wanted to work & of course I said yes, so there you go, my paycheck won't be any smaller at all.

I have not missed a day of work since I was hired. And I take great pride in that, LOL. But I decided that it's a job, I won't get any special rewards or bonuses, LOL, it's just a job. Yes, it is a responsibility, a necessity, what ever, but I need this weekend, we as a family need this weekend. But I admit, I do feel a little guilty for calling off *sigh*.

I miss my kids like crazy!! Cheyenne was texting me last night, keeping me updated on the game, I told her I wished I was watching with her. And she said she wished I was there too, that she misses me. I swear I nearly cried.

I worked 57 hours this week, 7 days, from Saturday until today (Friday). I have worked nearly 2 weeks straight. The reason I bitch & complain all the time about it is because I don't fucking want to do it. I am not a workaholic, I do not get pleasure from all this, honestly, all I fucking get is a small ass paycheck & a big ass headache.

Anyway, back to camping. When I told Kid that I made the decision to go, he was pissy & bitched a little. But after I asked him to go to & he really started to think about it, he was all happy & excited about it. He went to work today so he is going to get the water pump fixed tomorrow. He won't come down with us on Thurs, he'll come down on Friday but he is staying until Sunday. And I am actually excited about that. He has been so good to me, well, to all of us lately.

Alright, I am done, I have a migraine & a bunch of shit to do, so I'm going to go.

By the way, I don't think it was Jesse. If Jesse was here, he would be hanging around by now or at least I would have seen him by now. I am extremely relieved!!