I was a girl. I had the whole world in front of me. I could do anything. I could be anything. I could go anywhere. And here I am. Did I choose this life or did this life choose me? I am not unhappy. I love my children with all my heart, they mean the world to me. They are my sunshine on a cloudy day, I know a cheesy cliche but it's true. Most days I love my husband. He can be good to me. He was an ass earlier tonight but he apologized. I know he is stressed........
Most days I am happy.
I guess it is easy to wonder what might have been when I really haven't accomplished anything in my life. I am coming up on my 32nd birthday & in my heart I still feel like a teen. I guess I even still act like a teen at times..........
Should I act so 'young at heart' when I am raising kids myself, one of which is quickly approaching her teens?? I don't know. But I worry quite a lot if I am doing a good job. If they will be smarter than me, make better choices than me? What kind of adults will they be? What kind of parents will they be? What are they going to accomplish in their lives? I think I have written these questions before, wouldn't be surprising, since I wonder about this quite often.
Anyway, tonight is weigh in night. I am nervous. I wonder if I should just go & get it done with now. Usually I do it at 1 or 2 am, after a shower, naked. But I probably won't be showering tonight. If I have gained weight, I will be disappointed. I feel like I have gained. Especially since I have sat on my ass in front of this computer all frigging day. Using the excuse 'I don't feel good'. Lame lame lame.
Oh screw it, its bugging me, I need to go weigh :P .
I lost 1 pound, just one pound. I guess now I can use the excuse of my period :P . But you know I am going to go take a shower & weigh at 2am now :P .
So, while IMing with Quinn last night, she posted some stuff to me. She posted some stuff about ADD in women.
Some of that stuff could be me. Could I be ADD?? Can I blame my messy house & unorganized self on that?? I just call it lazy.
Well, I am actually, amazingly, running out of stuff to write about. I am still working on playlists for my MP3 player. Can you believe I have had this since Monday & the only thing I have downloaded on it is Justin Timberlake's album???
Bye for now, you know I will be back at 2am to post whether I have lost any more weight :P .
1 comments:
We are all still teenagers at heart, thats why we can still have so much fun!
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