Day 28: Then & now...

A picture from you last year, and now. What has changed since then?

I'm too lazy to find a picture. Basically I am 10 pounds heavier & much more haggard. I don't sleep enough, I drink more, eat worse. Most of the time I don't know how to act & I say & do really stupid shit. I am immature & irresponsible.

The biggest change has been the separation from my husband. I spent 17 years with him. I feel like a ship lost at sea most days. While I don't want to be with him, he was an anchor. Yea, he bitched if the dishes weren't done so I did them. Now, he is not here to bitch, he is not here to keep me in line. And man, I am having a really hard time.

How is it even possible to despise someone so much but yet feel so lost without them? I do not want him here in any way, shape or form, but damnit, this is fucking hard. Why did this have to happen? Why does anything have to happen?