Are answers always necessary...

or is it better to leave sleeping dogs lie??

If you know me then you know that my mom died 8 years ago :( , before she died she told me a secret. She told me that her & my dad had decided to separate & in that time she met a guy, a guy who was already engaged to another woman, they fooled around and I was conceived. For whatever reason he couldn't leave the other woman to be with my mom. My mom's history with men is not a very good history so who knows what the truth of the story really is. But she also told me that he knew about me & that she had taken me to see him when I was born. She told me his first name & where they met, she also told me that if I wanted to know more she would do whatever she could to find out information on him for me. At the time, I didn't want to know. Then the cancer came & took her from me.

For awhile I wondered about him, and had even toyed with the idea of contacting some dumb talk show like Maury but ultimately decided to just set it all aside, I figured that I would never be able to find him anyway, that was alot of years ago after all.

But then it hit me a few days ago, as I was looking at posts on a Facebook group full of old timers that remember so much about the history of Bloomington, how simple it would be to make a post asking about him. Or asking about my mom. I even looked through the names of the members to see if his name was there.

And then I got scared. Is this something that I really need to know? I am 36 years old & up until about 10 years ago I didn't even know this little bit of history. What could I possibly gain from this? What if he is everything I never had in a dad, but what if he is everything I never wanted? What if he is still with that same woman & she hates me for what my mom did? So many questions & too scared to ask them? Too scared of the answers...