Where do I even begin?

I am wiped out. But happy!! I worked at the cleaners from 8 to 11 this morning. Came home & rushed through a shower & lunch, then ran back out the door to be at Walmart by 12. I was supposed to get off at 5 but I stayed to make some extra hours, I ended up staying until 9!! And I am sure if I hadn't mentioned how many hours over I have, I could've stayed longer. But I was starving. Before Kristen left tonight she asked me if I can work 11 to 8 tomorrow instead of 12 to 5 & of course I said YES, LOL!!

Today felt like such a tedious day. Started the day hanging signs with Maria & Lucy. Then we did something else, though I can't remember what, LOL. After break I did a few CBL's, I think I am all caught up. Then I ended up in HBA again, helping Pat hang a modular & then using the little hand scanner & printer to label all the freaking make-up. Soo tedious. But I am learning alot, LOL.

There is just something good about being able to say I worked a 13 hour day, LOL. Makes me feel proud. I feel energetic. Well, tired & energetic.

But I am nervous about tomorrow, really nervous.

I want someone to come talk to me, LOL. Oh well.

We got a new pharmacist & he is sooo cute. He reminds me of an old friend, Darrick. I miss him, LOL.

I need a new online boyfriend. I got so spoiled with the fun flirting that when he isn't online, I miss it. I'm tired of waiting for him, LOL. I need to find a new one. I feel like he is blowing me off for whatever reason & it is annoying.

Believe me, I know how fucked up that is. A married woman looking for a guy to flirt with. But it is just too fun. However, I am not aggressive at all so stalking a man on like Talk City or something is just not my style.

Well, it is nearly midnight. Tomorrow is going to be one long ass day, I better call it a night *yawn*.

Oh, last thing, I am so excited. Kid fixed our oven. We have been without an oven for well over a year. My mind is just spinning with ideas for dinners, LOL. And I cannot wait to make homemade pizza again, and shepherds pie & banana bread. And the list goes on & on!!

Blogging........

I am doing the copy & paste for Quinn over here, from my MySpace. See Quinn, I do love you!!!!

I am a little worried about the adult stuff I talk about .

Anyway, you won't believe this, but Kid actually said to me tonight, I was standing back here, he said something like I was so skinny he could barely see me anymore, LOL. Of course he followed it up with a "You'll find a new boyfriend." Whatever.

Speaking of a guy friend that I have.......

I want him to come online . I miss chatting with him.

But, this guy added me as a friend on Talk City, so I emailed him, told him he should email me sometime that I would love to chat with him & he is hot, LOL. I hope he emails me. I need to fill these lonely nights with some fun flirting .

So, the store opens on Wed. And I admit I am nervous. I am afraid they are going to put me on self check out right away & I'll fuck everything up. Kristen told us she picked some people for self checkout that she thought would be good at the multi-tasking. I really think she has more faith in me that I have in me , LOL.

Today I spent the afternoon in cosmetics. It was tedious but fun to look at all the make-up & all the different colors. Damn, some of that shit is expensive!! But I have already picked out a few really pretty colors of lip gloss I want. They have sparkles in it. Oh & some pretty eye shadow colors. I can't wait until I have the extra money to splurge on some of this shit. Including the hair dye. Which Kid thinks I am crazy for wanting to dye my hair . But first I am getting it trimmed.

I better call it a night, it's after 12 & I have both jobs tomorrow. At least the kids are out of school so I only have to worry about me in the am.

Ohhh, I almost forgot, I saw some drama today, at work. The first glimpse of our not quite so happy family. The lead in HBA (which is health & beauty) is an older man. He is really nice, well, one of the CSM's talked down to him today & he said he won't be talking to her anymore & walked away. And she walked off all pissed. Then one of the office ladies came over to help & I heard them talking about her & the way she was talking, LOL. It was pretty funny, actually. See, right now, we are all pretty much equals, well, besides the managers. We are all pretty clueless & looking to each other for help & questions, LOL.

Okay, I'm really done now. Nite!!

Optimistic

I always try to be optimistic. The easiest way for me to do that, just not think of the problems, just put everything aside. I have convinced myself that everything will work out & I will continue to believe that.

I am so annoyed with welfare. I have been calling every chance I get & I always get this stupid message, due to high volume of calls, all of our agents are assisting other clients, call back another time, click. Well, I called this morning, actually got through, sat on hold for I don't even know how long, just to have them hang up on me. I don't have the time to go down & sit down there & wait to talk to someone. We are nearing the 30 day mark since I applied, hopefully I will hear something soon.

I want to start wearing make-up, just a little bit. A little foundation & blush to cover my blemishes & a little eye make-up to bring out my eyes. I just don't know how to wear it. Is there somewhere I can go, where they can show me the proper colors & techniques. Although, I guess right now, it doesn't even matter, no money to buy any.

Of course I am ecstatic about finally feeling comfortable in my own skin, about finally being happy with the person who is looking back at me. But it seems kind of ironic I guess that when I finally reach this point, I can't treat myself to a new outfit, a new pair of earrings, make-up, whatever. I guess that is just the way things happen in life.

I also want to dye my hair. I have never dyed my hair. Maybe when Lynne comes back she can help me. I was thinking of maybe dying it a reddish brown color. But there again, no money for the dye.

*sigh*

I wonder what Kid would say if I went out one night & came home with my eyebrow pierced.

I guess it seems like I am reinventing myself, but really, these are my true colors peeking through. I am finally in a place inside myself where I can let them shine.

Ok, now for some stupidity.

I took a long...... very long........ hot......... bath last night. And I had this whole fantasy played out in my head, involving a certain person I have come to enjoy. And then I sat here, until midnight, waiting & hoping he would come online, so I could tell him about it. Of course he didn't show. And I felt so stupid. I still feel stupid, because I keep checking yahoo to see if he has signed on. I keep coming back & forth, getting ready for work.

Mariella didn't have work for me today *sigh*. I'll work tomorrow but not Wed. Frank wants us to try to be at the Grand Opening on Wed. morning. We'll get paid for it, but it won't be as many hours as I would get with Mariella. So I will get $48 from her on Friday, if I work Tues & Thurs.

Plus my Walmart payheck on Thurs. Though I have absolutely no idea how much it will be. I seriously need to figure out when the pay period starts & ends. I'll ask one of the transfers today.

Well, I guess I better wrap this mess of randomness up & go find something to eat before work.