What it is....

..... it's not getting down when you're not "the one". I like to believe you know, you just know when something is there. But along with that, you know when something is not there. It doesn't mean you aren't an awesome individual, it just means you aren't for them.

..... it's waking up & realizing that a friendship is so much more than you thought it was. It's realizing that you just fell in love with your best friend & didn't even realize it happened. But knowing you don't want to live without them.

..... it's making eye contact with someone across the room, feeling electricity & wanting to know more about them.

..... it's knowing that you want much more than sex so you take your time & truly enjoy someone's company before you decide to get intimate.

..... it's knowing in that place in your heart that there is a reason for your smile, there is a reason for those butterflies & enjoying every second of it.

..... it's knowing that while you don't have it now, one day you will, it will be special & magical, you will love every minute of it.

What it's not... it's not forcing something to be there that isn't. It's not settling just because you don't want to be alone.

Learning indifference...

I'm ready to reinvent myself, is this easy to do? It seems like it should be an easy thing to do...

Anyone who knows me knows that I am an open book. I guess I am very naive about people & the way they think. I don't hold back, I am a straight forward open-minded individual. But somehow my straight forward open-minded mentality backfires & my feelings get hurt, it makes me not want to be the person I am. Especially when someone shares their opinion of me & my choices with my daughter.

You don't have to agree with the way I choose to live... or the way I choose to love... or the way I choose to feel. But if you call me friend & you claim to care about me, then damnit you owe me basic respect, I would do the same for you.

Until you walk a mile in my shoes, until you've lived a moment of my life, you don't know how I feel, you don't know what I need or want. And until my decisions affect you in any way, you are in no position to judge me. We all make mistakes that we have to live with, they are ours alone to own up to, no one else's, leave me to mine & I'll leave you to yours.